Open!
©June 16th, 2016
By Vijaya Sundaram
The corridor is endless
Orange flames in brackets on walls
Seem all the darker for the blackness pressing
All about you, hugging your shape
As you move silently along, holding your breath.
The silence haunts with a sibilant sound.
And the sound of your own voice
In your own head, keeping you going
With a chattering commentary,
Is deafening, and your head feels
Full to bursting with it.
You walk, and you walk,
Holding yourself like a cup
That might spill you and shatter,
If you trip over your eagerness,
If you run, if you stumble,
And you wonder whether
At the end over there, far away,
Lies the place you seek.
Strange images flash on the walls
To the left of you, and to the right.
You recognize the play,
You recognize the actors –
You will not be deterred.
You see yourself among them,
Running about, hair flying,
Laughing, crying, stumbling, falling,
You love and you hate, and you
Think you’re too late, too late, for
Everything, everything, always.
The hours tick by, the silence
Breathes down your neck,
And your terror assails you:
What if you’re wrong, and this passage,
This corridor you’ve chosen,
Is the wrong one?
What if at the end of it,
There’s nothing, and you have
To turn back, retrace your steps,
Watch yourself and others
Mock you, as you seek blindly
The thing you want?
What if you’re wrong, and were always so –
Wrong from beginning to end,
About everything you’ve ever done?
You always thought that to doubt
Was to be true, to be open to
All the possibilities, all the realities
Swirling around you, but are you right?
Is your doubt a self-indulgence?
Is it a self-flagellation?
Is it right? Is it good? Is it true?
It does not matter, you see.
It simply is. You try and you try,
And you peel away the layers
Surrounding your vision, to see clearly
You do not hide from your clear-eyed gaze,
You keep your eyes open, and you
Keep on moving towards that end
The place you seek.
And your steps lead you there,
And your fingers feel along the walls,
And you bump into a door
You know it’s a door, for it sounds
Like one, it feels like it should be one.
You draw a deep breath, summon
Your strength, steady yourself to meet
What lies beyond it, and say:
Open!
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