Vijaya Sundaram

Poet, Musician, Teacher, and Amateur Visual Artist

Clouds Shaped Like Au Revoir

Clouds Shaped Like Au Revoir
©June 30th, 2016
By Vijaya Sundaram

There were clouds looming ahead
All pregnant with sunlight and rain-light,
Clouds shaped like au revoir,
Auf Wiedersehen, phir milenge,
Aprama pakalam,
Until we meet again,

When we drove to Vermont,
En famille, to the place
That would be nurturing my daughter
For seven weeks.

To drop her off at camp –
My daughter, my only one,
The starlight of my eye,
The laughter of my days
The love of our life –
Was easier than I thought
Yesterday,
The day I grew up.

Yes, there were some tears
(Mine, just a few,
And just on the way back.)
Yes, there was some joy
(She’ll be fine; she loves it already.)
Yes, there were some fears
(But she is sensible and bright
And filled with joyful openness
A flower before the sun).

See, it’s like this:
You spend nine months
Carrying a whole galaxy
Within you.
You watch over her,
Teach her everything,
How to speak, how to sing,
How to read, how to write,
How to be moral and kind
How to forgive, and how to love,
You feed her, sing to her,
Tell her stories, take her places,
Fill her days with love.
You spend your days
Wondering how all this will
Shape the future.
You learn to let go, just a little,
But you don’t think you’ll
Do so entirely, not for a while.

And then, when the time comes,
And she’s ready, and happy,
You learn to loosen that kite,
(Just for seven weeks, But still …),
Trusting that she’ll be all right,
They’ll be all right,
You’ll be all right.

And there were clouds
Looming ahead as we drove
Upwards, yesterday.
And clouds looming ahead
When we drove back,
Some white and some gray
But all shot through with light,
Bursting with light, barely contained –

But the kite flies on happily
Swooping through those clouds
A happy-shaped kite of Daughter.

And the string still holds
Her to us, to me,
An invisible umbilical cord
While I send her
Mother-prayers for safety
Within her freedom,
And my heart expands
Like a sky with clouds,
Shaped like a home-coming.

___________________________________________________

Clouds

Tourist

 Tourist
©June 29th, 2016

By Vijaya Sundaram

I am a tourist in this land
And the land in which I was born.
I wander, and wonder where I belong.

I am a tourist in this life
And the place whence I came.
I seek my home elsewhere.

A silver river flows calmly where I’m from
And the banks overflow with flowers
Rich green trees bend languidly,
Trailing their branches in the water,
Like children sailing boats.

The sky is blue and gold
In the place where I belong,
And the rain, when it comes,
Is gentle and soft.
The moon floats by, yellow-gold,
Smiling in double-time.

When you look into my eyes,
You will see another galaxy
Another Universe, another home.

When you look into my eyes,
You will see all the questions
Raising themselves like little flags
Waving to a cavalcade,
Except that my flags will blow backwards
And pull me up into the air,
And I will be spirited away,
While the dull cavalcade
Of the Real passes slowly beneath.

For this Universe has become
Too narrow for me, too tenuous.
I long to slip through it sidewise.
Like a stream of particles.

Do you say that Home
Is where one is?  Perhaps.
Yes, Home is in me.
But I wish to be disembodied,
And have my body be made
Into another Universe,
Where I will be Home.

Then, I can shed this shell,
And rest on my back,
Welcoming the press of
A new life upon me.
And I shall be a Tourist
No longer, but a string of worlds
Whirling through the dark.

__________________________________________________________

 

Tourist

Let the Circle Be Broken
IMG_2304

Photograph©By Vijaya Sundaram 2016

Let the Circle be Broken
©June 28th, 2016
By Vijaya Sundaram

A circle of water
Like an uncertain crown
On an uneasy head
Glimmers at the brim
Of my wide Mason-jar,
Ready to take a spill.
This I will not allow.
Tenderly, I pick up
My jar, and take a sip.
The water level falls,
A flood is averted.

An uncertain glimmer
Surrounds our blue-green globe
Alas, we cannot sip
And avert spills.  Terrified,
We watch as glaciers melt
And our sea-levels rise.
We watch as cities drown,
Helpless, fists tightly clenched.
If I could nurse our earth,
Cup her seas in both hands,
Offer sweet libations,
Form channels and gullies,
Not melt all our glaciers,
I would avert the Flood.

________________________________________________

 

Water

Deprive

Deprive
©June 27th, 2016
By Vijaya Sundaram

To become human, you climb out,
Grow legs, totter along, build things.

To become human, you shed the wild,
Grow a mind, shape the world.

To be human, you breathe
And make trees breathe back.

To be human, you make
Something out of nothing.

To be human, you also take
Everything, and forget to give back.

To be human is also to deprive
The earth of her chance to survive.

To become inhuman, you
Tear things down, and go on wheels.

To become inhuman, you shed
Conscience, compassion, clarity.

To become inhuman, you cut down
Trees, lose your breath, suffocate.

To become inhuman, you make
Nothing out of something.

When everything is taken
What is left to work with?

Someone said, “You grow stronger.”
But what if you cannot grow?

Don’t deprive us of this earth
Help us breathe back life into her.

Do not deprive her of the right
To be her beautiful blue-green self.

Be fully human, be fully divine,
Give back to the Mother of us all.

______________________________________________________

Deprive

Build that Fence!

Build that Fence!
©June 26th, 2016
By Vijaya Sundaram

A fence is good, you say?
To keep people out?
Or to keep you in?
Go ahead, you can stay.
We’re happy to go, to know
We won’t see you again.

If you build a fence,
Don’t you dare leave.
Stay behind.
You may rot there,
Or you may grieve,
For all we care.

While, we, we shall dance
Freely, and sing, and play
And make music and love
The livelong day.

Go ahead, and fester
In your cesspool of hate
Wallow in it, drown in it,
When you come to your senses
It will be too late
We won’t miss you, not a bit!

We will roam free among
Clouds and mountain-tops,
And we shall live and love
And learn, and laugh, and
Leave the earth a better place,

While you, with your fences
And your defences,
And your offending lying eyes
Will be nothing, nothing!

Go ahead, build that fence!
________________________________________________________

Fence

 

Oracle

Oracle
©June25th, 2016
By VIjaya Sundaram

The waters will rise,
We shall rise with them.

And we shall sing
Riding the waves,
Which will pull us down
Down to the place whence
We emerged, gills and all.

And the fires will burn
And millions of years
Will flow by like plasma,
Engulfed in flame.

And everything will
Be a memory of a memory
To be puzzled over on the rocks
And the shores of Time.

And one day, a new being
Will emerge, water streaming
Off its form, steam rising,
A creature of light and air
And fire and water,
A creature barely touching
The earth, as it spirals shore-ward.

And this being will read
In our lost, bleached bones
A story, a history, a tragedy,
A comedy, a romance, a song,
And a prophecy.

____________________________________________________________

Prophecy

Voyage

Voyage
©June4th, 2016
By Vijaya Sundaram

The boat bobs slowly
With no oars and no pilot
Behind lies the shore.

The boat floats darkly
Sun-rays spread across water
Beyond lies a dream.

Water-creatures leap
Bright shoals of fish alongside
Your gaze plummets down.

Down the mazèd deeps,
Into the heart of the Earth
And you hear “Farewell!”

__________________________________________________________

 

Voyage

Awe and Gratitude

Awe and Gratitude
©June 23rd, 2016

By Vijaya Sundaram

The two-month old babe who smiles,
Bright and open like a new universe,
At the huge billboard at the airport,
With its smiling female face, all teeth;

The toddler who at 9-and-3/4-months
Teeters along on unsteady legs,
Desperate to be moving, not crawling.
Teaching herself what needs to be learned;

The little girl who tumbles into books,
As naturally as a frog tumbles into water
Finding solace therein; the two-and-a-half year-old
Who sings like an angel, in tune and in time.

The four-and-a-half year old who swims like an eel
The five-and-a-half year old who masters the swing-set,
The six-and-a-half year old bicycling in the breeze,
The seven-and-a-half year old stilting with ease;

The eight-year old dancing Kathak with grace,
The nine-year old who unicycles happily,

The ten year old, braided and solemn,
Who plays The Beatles on her guitar, and sings;

The eleven-year old with bobbed hair, off
To sleep-away camp for the first time,
Away from home for seven weeks,
Wearing confidence like a hoodie;

All of these years of her life
Entwined with mine, like honeysuckle,
Like climbing vines, reaching for sunlight;
All of these fill my heart with awe.

I kneel at the feet of Life and thank it
For giving me this Gift, this fey child
Who dreams, who loves us freely,
Who sings and reads, and plays and thinks,

And I am truly grateful.

________________________________________________________

Awe

Also, cross-posting to dVerse Open Link Night

Empty and Full

Empty and Full
©June 22nd, 2016
By Vijaya Sundaram

Empty is good
It can be filled to the brim.

Empty is beautiful
There’s something waiting outside.

Empty is hopeful
Things can take root and grow.

Empty is true
It cannot pretend to be anything else.

Empty is impossible
Even if all is removed, something lurks.

Today, I emptied my thoughts
Into self-watering planters,
And transplanted seedlings,
Humming a happy song.

So beautiful my seedlings looked,
Standing tall in good, brown earth
With cool water to suck thirstily,
And golden light to pull into veins!

Humming, I poured my thoughts in
With peat moss and rich, dark,
Organic potting soil, and sang
Softly to my little seedlings.

How they grow from nothing, almost
Into these strong, sun-veined plants!
How tall they stand, how rooted,
Calmly facing the rain and winds!

I see my daughter now, the same,
Born of my once-empty womb,
Growing tall, nurtured in song,
Brought up in the light of love.

I see her, kindness in her every
Gesture, goodness in every thought,
Translating confusion into sense,
As she grows sunwards, beautiful as light,

And my heart is full.

________________________________________________________

Empty

Companion of Her Days

Companion of Her Days
©June 21st, 2016

By Vijaya Sundaram

Alone she comes into life
And alone she goes out of it.
And yet, yet, here you are,
Beside her, holding her aloft
When she falls, gasping, ready to die,
You hold her, and she holds you, too.
Smiling, loving, encouraging,
Healing with song and laughter,
Yes, and also annoying, carping,
Cavilling, gently nudging,
Reminding her of what’s needed.

Sometimes, just sometimes,
She would rather be alone
And walk the edges of everything
And look down the other side.
The valley is purple and shadowed,
The sun sets quickly there,
But the lilies and poppies are so
Very languorous, so inviting,
And she would like to rest there
Forever, inhaling oblivion.

But she knows you, her companion
Will await her, and she gets up,
And returns, whispering to the valley,
That rolls beneath her feet, and
Tries to pull her down:
“Don’t wait for me.  I’ll be back.”

____________________________________________________

Companion