Vijaya Sundaram

Poet, Musician, Teacher, and Amateur Visual Artist

Soldier

Soldier
©By Vijaya Sundaram
April 18th, 2013

Yes, the world goes on,
The earth swings herself tiredly
Around the sun, sluggishly
Around on her axis
And the tilt of her
And the lilt of her
And the will of her
And the thrill of her
Though she be tired
And old and leaden,
Reminds me that I, too
Must go on, tilting
And lilting, not
Wilting, but willing
To show up for duty,
Across and through a waiting
Universe.

For that is how it is,
Was, and must always
And forever be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the Sake of Life Itself

For the Sake of Life Itself
©By Vijaya Sundaram
April 16th, 2013

Call me a coward.
I  didn’t tell my eight-year old
That an eight-year old died
Yesterday, standing, waiting
To cheer the people who ran.

And his father, who might have run,
But did not, on that fateful day,
Can run and run from now
Until the end of time
And never catch up.

And the beautiful child that son
Must have been (for how could he be otherwise?)
Died in mid-cheer.

He was eight years old.
He held a poster that said,
“No more hurting people. Peace.”
His name was Martin.

How can one explain such a thing
And how can one still stay intact?

For, in that moment when the world blew up
And an eight-year old flew into the air,
Becoming one with the stars and the atoms,
One broke into a million fragments.

But we carry on, for all the other
Children, who wait for us, eyes wide with trust
Believing that there are good people among us.
And we turn to them, in relief and grief.

And I turn to my beautiful
Angel-child, for the sake of love,
For the sake of all the little ones,
And for the sake of life itself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Funambulist — Two Haiku

Funambulist –Two Haiku
©By Vijaya Sundaram
April 13th, 2013

The funambulist
Pauses, poised between two worlds
Then shrugs, and goes on.

And thus, I, poet
In mid-air, on a tightrope
Sway, shrug and press on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Enemy — Or: To a Non-Friend

The Enemy
Or:  To a Non-Friend
©By Vijaya Sundaram
April 11th, 2013

This is the day I was surprised.

It’s not my skin-tingling recoil
That surprised me when I saw you.
It’s not my memory of all
The little jabs and major stabs
That you aimed so casually and
So shamelessly at my open
Heart through all these years that we had
Passed each other grim, unsmiling.

It’s not your mockery and your
Usual  barely suppressed malice
Which made me stop in my tracks and
Caused me almost to forget
Forget the injuries, insults …
Incalculable pain that you’ve
Caused me, making me want to die,
Washing the rocks on some hillside.

No, it’s not any of those things.
It’s that today, you were not well.
And, in sickness, your laughter bloomed.
You were vulnerable, you were
Shorn of bluster, you were truly
There, truly true, truly open.
You were without defense, or hate.
And you were giddy, funny, good.

And I felt for you a great rush
Of affection, of empathy,
Which bore me away on fair winds
Which made me laugh with you today.
Which made me feel for you, for you,
Of all people, you, who have hurt,
Insulted, derided, questioned,
Rumored, destroyed, rebuilt, torn down.

You altered your face.  No longer
Bitter nor hateful, no longer
Jealous nor spiteful.  You were real.
You were funny.  You were open.
Laughing, you changed all you had been
For one moment, in the blessing
Of  the spring, the sunshine pouring
Down on us, through ceilings and roof.

This is what surprised me today.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cessation — A Poem

Cessation
©By Vijaya Sundaram
April 10, 2013

Ennui drips its grease
Onto my forehead,
Into my soul
Increases my need
To wash and rid myself
Of all that
Wearies me
Frighteningly, forever.

And I’d cleanse myself
Of all that degrades,
All that bores, denudes
Undoes, unravels
Unhinges and enchains
The joy of living.
And I’d be lost,
Before I dissolve.

But if I did,
I could cease to be.

The unexpected
And the grotesque
The lyrical, and the poignant,
The beautiful and the ugly,
The untested, the untried,
The sung and the unsung
All these would make
The air that I would breathe.

But now, ennui
Rules my days,
Presses its wet hand
Onto my greasy forehead.
Makes me want to scream,
Unbridled, unceasingly:
An open mouth
To an uncaring sky.

And if I do,
I would cease to be.

And the ears that would hear
Would be stopped by hearts
Too calloused with hurt
Too troubled for love
Too sad to care
For they have their own
Unendurable, unending,
Unspeakable ennui.

And my scream
Would last through all time
And unravel every cell in my being
Every atom of my existence
Until the very last thread
Would dangle in mid-air
Before the wind
Blew it away.

And as I unravel
I would cease to be.

~~~~~~~~The End~~~~~~~~

The Hunted – My Third Poem-Response to “Pigeon” by Anthony Green

The Hunted

(My Third Poem-Response to “Pigeon” by Anthony Green)

©By Vijaya Sundaram

April 9, 2013

 

In the beginning was the Bird

The Bird just was, and then the Word

Was spoken, and its calls were heard

And hate and war were soon bestirred.

 

Then, trains of death soon came and went

Those death-trains slew all innocents

The guards so cruel, so hell-bent

On uncovering with cold intent

 

The ones who hid, and who were hidden

And some they spared, and some they didn’t

And hunted by a word forbidden,

Their lives, by hate, quite overridden.

 

And in the end, lay the forlorn Bird,

Murdered by the hateful Word

And of their cries not one was heard

And in the ashes, no one stirred.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Shema Yisrael” – Poem + Blog Post

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o8jL1BXMdk]

Response to “Pigeon” by Anthony Green

©Vijaya Sundaram

April 9th, 2013

[The above YouTube video shows the film “Pigeon” by Anthony Green.  This was the prompt I put up today on my “smartboard” in class (we have been studying books set in the Nazi-Holocaust period for the past few weeks).  Students watched this 11-minute film and then we had a discussion about the significance of the different acts of kindness or unkindness in the film.  We also discussed the symbolism in all the visuals (I don’t want to go all school-teacherish on you here), as well as the arresting imagery, acting and directing.

This was followed by a writing assignment.  Students had to write a poem-response to this film, telling the story itself, or using the larger symbolism to zoom in on what moved them.  They were deeply affected by the film, and the poems they came up with were beautiful.

I told them that I, too, would write while they wrote.  So, I managed to write in four out of five of my class periods today.]  Here is the first of the four poems I wrote (unedited, sorry, no time to tweak things.  Will do that later):

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shema Yisrael

Response poem to the film “Pigeon”

©Vijaya Sundaram

April 9th, 2013

 

Shema Yisrael

Stranded on the island

I await my deliverance

 

Shema Yisrael

Pigeon at my feet

Crumbs for its survival

 

Shema Yisrael

I have lost all, lost all

My papers, my self, my life.

 

Shema Yisrael

I try and sidestep my fate

Waiting is my wasteland

 

Shema Yisrael

Here are guards, inexorable as death

I die by degrees, in a sweat of fear

 

Shema Yisrael

Angel in human form sees

My loss, transforms into demoness

 

Shema Yisrael

I had a wife, and now a new one,

Who beats me about the shoulders.

 

Shema Yisrael

Guards aim death at her, “Papers!”

She mocks me, her “husband.”

 

Shema Yisrael

They laugh at us, mock me; they see she

“Wears the pants,” and then they leave.

 

Shema Yisrael

Bless this angel of mercy, this wife

Who delivered me from death, from hell

 

Shema Yisrael

May her act not go unnoticed

May she find a place among the angels.

 

Shema Yisrael

May the pigeons and doves among us

Find their saviors, may they fly in peace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sh’ma Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Eḥad

(Hear, O Israel: the Lord is our God, the Lord is One)

Disclaimer:  I am not a Jewish person, nor a believer of any sort.  However, I believe deeply in the power of prayer to steady ourselves, when we’re cast afloat, rudderless, on an open sea.  It’s a centering mechanism.  It’s good.  It can only calm us, not hurt us.

Portrait of a Fake — A Vignette (poem)

Portrait of a Fake
©By Vijaya Sundaram
April 7th, 2013

It’s in her eyes, you understand.
Her eyes that hold the mistrust, the dark fears,
The resentment, the self-deluding lies.
Too frightened to turn inward and read what’s
Held in the abysmal depths of her heart.

It’s in the insincere smile, the tinkling laugh,
The worried look, the cold self-absorption
That mark her every utterance, her tone,
Messaging deceit too light to notice,
As she slithers forward like a cobra.

She holds her grudges, she clings to anger.
She knows no other way, for her very
Self was build on these, too far from childhood
Take those away, and not much is left there.
Just a void with remnant strands of realness.

So, perhaps those resentments and grudges
Those fake-friendly words and insincere smiles
Are fine as they are, for who can face the
Awful truth of one’s own emptiness and
Remain standing, exposed, and in one piece?

Perhaps it would be better, though, to melt
Away into nothingness, perhaps to
Die and reshape oneself into a new
More real, truer self, unpropped by ego
And held aloft by a true love for all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Disregard — A Poem
Disregard -- A Poem
©By Vijaya Sundaram
April 7th, 2013

It is only when you sit in silence

Electricity humming in your eyes

That you notice you are grimly angry.

It seems the thought police have invaded

All the spaces, inserted themselves in

All your faces, devoted themselves to

Tracing and erasing all that you are.

“But … But …” you stammer deep within your mind

And now you hope that they will never find

The depth of your disregard for that which

They hold so very dear, so very close

To their lemming hearts, justification

Upon justification to prove that

What they did was always right and always

True, because only they are right, you see.

So, observing all, you reflect and rejoice

That, although they seek to undo your mind

They’ll not find you, for you’ll be gone, a flash

Of  laughter and mischief, and that too will

Vanish in the hot sunshine of your words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dancing Bells — A Poem

Dancing Bells
(Honoring my Daughter’s First Ghungroo Ceremony)
©By Vijaya Sundaram
April 6th, 2013

A deity smiles

Benignly down

At the offerings

And the flowers.

Indian food and chai

Compete with incense

The air is quiet

Awaiting blessing.

Today, my girl learns

What tradition is

And she turns on the

Hinge of creation

She to her teacher,

She to her teacher,

Connected by bells

Strung tight together.

Wise words are spoken.

Her teacher evokes

A sense of sweet awe

Reaching for realness.

Hot tears sting my eyes

Mine too, he whispers,

As I dab at them

With my dupatta.

The ceremony

Glows through the morning

A quiet reverence

Saturates the air

Bells on their ankles

Tender and thrilling

Quell their pressing doubts

Render them quiet.

Then, they whirl and twist

They twirl and they stamp

And turn, her young friends

And she, dancers all.

The bells ring out clear

And bright, and tender

The blessings linger

In hands, feet and hearts.

Now, she is one with

Her dancing self and

She sees where the road

Leads.  She is unfazed.

She is persistent,

She is stubborn,

Reverential.

These will move her feet.

And her arms will shape

The air into song

Sculpting song into

A pattern for her days.

And her teacher’s words

Will string the small bells

Of each dance into

Bells that ring for life.

For the tradition

Comes through each of them

Through the student and

Into tomorrow.