Jul 1, 2013 Awake in Real Time: Coffee-induced Meditations and Journal Entries, Teaching and Learning
The Beginning
By Dreamer of Dreams
Monday, July 1st, 2013
Dare I say that today was my first day of vacation? Not really. I mean, school ended last Thursday (yes, that late), and I was there on Friday and today, and will probably be there on and off, tossing out old things, and putting away more things. The floor is clean and the custodians can do their work. The shelves are (mostly) empty. The side shelves are piled with boxes and papers. I took down my hanging plants and my odd pieces of interesting artwork and pictures and brought them home.
I boxed up and brought home a big pile of books I’d bought this year, kept on my shelves and never read. I will read them in the next few weeks, dammit!
I tossed out an entire large recycling bin worth of stuff (so much for being green), and felt horribly guilty.
On the plus side, I wiped all surfaces clean, swept the floor and made the room look neat enough. This is that no custodians will curse me into oblivion when they come to strip and wax the floors. Must keep them happy at all costs.
Meanwhile, at home for the past couple of days, I’ve overslept with my family, cooked nice food, visited some friends, done the usual laundry, taken a couple of walks with family, and read most of a large book to S in the past couple of days. Am slowly coming to my senses. Feel like a real person again.
Misanthropy takes a while to dissipate, though. It’s always the result of tiredness, and having to deal with too many people all concentrated in a small space, and at the very end of a rather long academic year. It’s not true dislike, I remind myself. Just heat, endless work and the call to be superhuman.
The school year is always like a strange dream, surreal and strangely contained, filled with its own challenges, some of which are good ones, some of which I can do without. Then, like a release, the holidays come, and I feel the sweet breath of freedom. No doubt everyone does.
I shall not draw any conclusions. I shall probably reach some dire ones if I try.
I cannot afford to.