Vijaya Sundaram

Poet, Musician, Teacher, and Amateur Visual Artist

Waiting to be Found

Waiting to be Found

©April 10, 2015

By Vijaya Sundaram

I see you, intent, focused

On shadows and light,

And I see your eyes move

As you follow fantasies

On flat, hollow surfaces,

Made and sold everywhere

For you.

And I wish I could

Blow away the cobwebs

In your mind

And open windows

And fling open doors

And sweep out the floors

For you!

I feel for you,

Ensconced in darkness

Playing with shadows,

Imagining you’re happy

With games and candy,

Perhaps thinking

What’s out there?

Out there are stars,

And sky, and clouds

And birds, and trees

And flowers and bees,

Waiting to be found.

And angles and angels,

Archetypes and archangels

And anarchy and autarchy

And humanity and divinity

Waiting to be found.

And songs and poems,

And inventions and theories

Dreams and prophesies,

And a wildly spinning earth,

All waiting to be found.

One day, there will be you,

Held aloft by loose string,

Looking for all of this,

For a way out of all that,

Waiting.

Hum-Ant

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/03/31/1373930/-Massive-Glacier-Melt-and-Fresh-Water-are-Pouring-into-the-Gulf-of-Alaska

Hum-Ant
© March 31st, 2015
By Vijaya Sundaram

Gaea awakens from a troubled dream.
Ants crawl over her sleeping, aging
Rocks, her streams and plumes of
Buried hair and abused bones,
Like carbon unredeemed.

Hum-ants, building anthills everywhere
Tickle, bite, pluck, rip,
Carry on war and kill for fun,
And maim her trees, and
Muddy her waters, and choke her air.

The Titans do her bidding again.
Happy to serve her, they stir
Restlessly, they arise, full
To the gorge with vengeful
Intent, with billennia of pain.

Churning the waters above, blind,
They groan, and grind plate
Against continental plate.
Stretching, yearning, shoving
Landmasses aside, they grind.

All will be changed, all.

Run, for the waters WILL rise,
Or learn to swim.
Run, for the unforgiving sea
Will swarm over our cities
And swallow our cries.

All will be changed, all.

Run, and as you run,
Sing to the crying sky
And the grinding earth.
Sing of your history
As you follow the sun.

All will be changed, all.

Sing the song of innocence
And the songs of knowledge.
Sing the praises of your mother
And forgive the hurtful words
You uttered, and made no sense.

All will be changed, all.

Sing of stirring into being
And careening into death,
Eyes wide, stretched
Wide to accommodate
Light-years of stars, still unseeing.

All will be changed, all.

Sing of hope, of all the shoulds
Of ambivalence and despair,
Of words understood and
Of words misunderstood.

All will be changed, all.

Sing of forests felled for highways
And buildings arrogantly
Reaching for the sky, crushing
Life out of sidewalks, die-ways.

All will be changed, all.

Sing now.

Or learn to fly,
And take off before
That final tidal wave
Envelops us all.
Or, better still, let the storm
Transform our cry.

All will be changed, all.

Disintegrating into atoms,
We shall be simple matter
Once again, a part of
Earth and Stars,
Blown from the palm of
A Titan’s hand, phantoms.

All will be changed, all.

Like stardust, we will blow
Into the void that waits,
We hum-ants will know,
At that final moment,
That from humus we come
And to humus we will go,

For that is what becomes of us.
Human we are, humble, humus.

All will be changed, all.

_______________________________________________________

Snow Fall

Snow Fall
©January 24th, 2015
By Vijaya Sundaram

White drifts down,
A reminder that
The world will be renewed.
And that hills and trees,
Stripped of color
Are still beautiful.
And this white and brown
And black world, so gentle
So muted, so tender
Obscures the memory of
A harsher place waiting outside
The edges of window frames.

Suit up and take
My Eager Doggess for a walk.
And now, these are my reality:
A snuffly nose,
A waggling tail,
A smiling dog —
Forget all else, just
Skid and slip
On sidewalks down steep
Slopes in my up-and-down
Neighborhood, shaped
By an erratic earth epochs ago.

And think of fifty-year old bones
Breaking and cracking on
Empty streets, dragged
Down by dog in haste,
Yell to her urgently: Slow down!
She does, befuddled.

Turn resolutely back,
Find a safer, straighter,
Quicker way home.
No broken bones,
No bruises or bumps.
Strangely, after all is over,
Reflect, drinking hot tea, that
Moments of sheer terror
Carry their own pleasure.

But don’t risk all for it.
Do not fall.
Falling is for the young.
There is a slight pang,
The memory of a deep gong within me.
Shrug, move on,
Falling is for the young, I say firmly.

Look out my windows,
Glad to be home.
Let my gaze caress the sky,
And the earth hums
With quiet satisfaction,
While she laps at her water
Noisy, unselfconscious.

It’s good to be still vertical
In a snow-veiled world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Air and You, and I

 

Air and You, and I

©January 16th, 2015

By Vijaya Sundaram

A bird flies

An arrow in the air

Shot from a twanging earth

Into an indifferent sky,

Exulting in flight.

 

Slicing the air,

Smiting the blue,

It flies, heedless of

Its effect on me, the Watcher,

 

Its wings flap, unsteady,

And then even out

Steady as sails in the wind

On an ocean that calls me,

But still terrifies.

 

And the air which turns to wind

Descends and snakes around my skin.

The same air the bird sliced in two

Touches me,

And then, you.

 

So, we stand, in different lands,

Our skin tingling with mystery,

Linked by a bird which

Slices the air,

Displaces it,

Spills it, and moves on.

 

Will we, if we meet,

Know each other?

 

Will we, when we meet,

Say, It was you to each other?

 

Will we shake hands

Or fight?

Will we hug each other,

Or smite first?

 

All this air, going round and round

And round and round,

And round and round,

An endlessly rotating earth

Has touched you, and you

And you, and you.

 

We breathe in each other’s air,

Our ancestors’ air.

We sigh out air and cry out air.

We sing air, and bring air,

We plummet in air,

Climb summits in air.

We eat bursts of air

In water, when we drown,

And heat air when

Our planes rise up.

 

You are my brother, my sister,

My father, my mother,

My friend, my lover,

My self, my other.

 

Why such strife,

Then?

Come, let us share

This lovely air.

 

And this bird, winging back down,

Come, bird, alight on my arm,

Thank you for spilling

All this beautiful, sunlit

Song-lit, space-lit

Air!

 

Thank you for letting me dream

Thank you for that song that streams

Down, and down, around us.

Thank you for rising up

And winging

And singing

And wheeling

And reeling in

All this air!

  

For today, I was sad.

And I didn’t see you,

Not exactly.

 

I just made you appear

In my head, and there you were,

Real, solidly soaring

Slicing into the air.

 

And you brought me relief

And you brought me peace

And you made me cut the knot

That held me down.

 

I know there are more knots.

But right now, breathing

In and out, quietly,

Surrounded by voices

Ephemeral as you,

I imagine you, O Bird,

And you, O Person,

On the shores of

A faraway land,

Smiling at the sun,

Breathing our air.

 

And around me,

On me, from feet

To head,

The air tingles

On the skin

I’m in, floating

In a bubble of air

In the emptiness

Of space.

______________________________________________________

 

 

Full Fathom Five

Full Fathom Five

© November 15th, 2014

By Vijaya Sundaram

Tiredness rIses, a wave
That washes bones
Which float,
Then sink,
Bleached yellow by time
And sun, and a life
Run by clocks
Whose ticking, asynchronous
And arrhythmic,
Tocks away the hours;
And a life run
By the whims
Of others, whose
Lives are run
By the whims
Of others.
And mothers, and fathers,
And sisters and brothers
And friends, and enemies,
And people unknown.
Float in and out our porous
Bones, adding, subtracting
Calcifying and ossifying.
And the bones
Swirl and sink
SIng and drop
Down, down, down
Into the heart
Of the sea,
And they sing all the while,
Until we seize up, and stop.

__________________________

Out of Water and Out of Air

Out of Water and Out of Air

©October 6th, 2014

By Vijaya Sundaram

 

The fish sails,

Head half in, half out,

Floundering, diving,

Coming up again, diving

Neither in, nor out,

Neither here nor there.

Suffocating in air,

Drowning in water.

Tail lashing back and forth,

It sees the golden disk

Of sun from below,

Comes up eagerly

To drink in the light,

But gasps, as the rare

Air hits unaccustomed gills.

Writhing in terror

And ecstasy, before

It sinks back in,

Singing of the light.

And unformed lungs

Struggle to grow

In a body too light, too

Easily pierced by bait.

Surrounded by fish

Which flow easily, like song,

Through that twilit world,

At ease with body and fins

Unconscious and joyous

Twirling in sport,

Racing away in terror:

Prey chased by predators

Chased in their turn, it

Swims on and on, raises

Face to the light, sinks back in.

 

Is that all there is to this?

This constant striving

To no avail, for no purpose?

This struggle, this wriggle

Through murk, and to lurk

In dark spaces, with waving

Fronds that invite, but bite.

 

Is this all there is?

Don’t tell the fish

That struggle ennobles.

There is nothing noble in it,

Except in the minds

Of those who would weave words

To lead the blind.

 

Where is a world for a

Fish such as this?

Struggling at the confluence

Of air and earth and water,

It makes a bubble-dream.

 

Where is a world for a

A fish such as this?

It twists and leaps

And looks up skywards,

And dies, it dies, full

Of desire and pain.

 

And when it dies,

Will a new Creature emerge,

Straddling air and land and water,

Poised and cool,

Master of all it surveys?

 

Or will the creature

Look around, and yearn

And weep for something

We cannot yet see?

Neither land, nor sky

Nor water nor fire

Will quench its yearning.

 

And so, it goes.

While the air and sky,

And land and water,

Swirl darkly, promising

Nothing.

__________________________________________________

 

A Sleep-Prayer for My Daughter

A Sleep-Prayer for My Daughter*

©September 30th,2014

By Vijaya Sundaram

Blue descending, silken-deep

Like midnight promising her sleep

Darkness, spilling sweet moonlight,

Ease her mind with gentle night.

Let her sleep, and let her dream

Let her visions palely gleam

In quiet streams, in forest glades

In hollows where no one has strayed

Hold her sweetly in your arms,

Oh Sleep and Night, and bring no harm.

Let her smile in sleep, and think

No thoughts of death.  And let her drink

From wells of fun, of play and song

Show her where she might belong.

Then, float her boat of happiness

On moonlit streams with no distress

That brook of dreams where she

Will sing, and read, and quietly be.

For childhood’s full of dreams and fears

Give her strength and spare her tears.

_______________________________________________________