Vijaya Sundaram

Poet, Musician, Teacher, and Amateur Visual Artist

Orpheus (and I)

Orpheus (and I)
©February 26th, 2017
By Vijaya Sundaram

Every day, the idea of oblivion
Entices, lures, coaxes me ever closer.
I resist, then press on towards it.
And I resist again.

There is a river whose name
I forget, remembering pain, and forget.
Once, I crossed over, and returned
How, I know not.  Yet, it calls.

Now, I play my music, but it’s
The ghost of someone who plays:
The ghost of a beloved memory
Who lets her fingers
Stray dreamily over the lyre.

The stones speak.
The woods stir.
Animals gather round.
They come closer and closer.
I do not greet them.
They sit in silence around me.
They bring some solace.

Sunlight plays over my head
Like the fingers of my beloved

I see strings stretched across it.
I play it, and rain falls, flowing
Over my cheeks, like the river
Of forgetting, bleak, cold.

See over there? 
Somewhere beyond those hills,
Women beckon, red-eyed, long-nailed,
Wild-haired, naked, wine-stained,
And manic, ready to wreck my life.

They fill me with terror,
Yet, I’m strangely drawn to them
As if an error of blood, of rage
Connects me to them, an error of fate.

Someone long ago, from the future
Said to me, “Avoid them.”

I forget who it was,
A poet, I think.
She treasured my music.
She wept over my lost love.
She wrote about my sorrow.
And she said, “Stay here.
These woods, these animals
Will love you and protect you.
Play your music for them.”

I do not listen to her words.
She was born of my mind, a mere
Figment, a fragment of a future
That didn’t exist, because it hadn’t
Come into being, because I
Didn’t sing of it, because I
Couldn’t picture it, because I
Abhorred the future, because i
Loathed the present, because I
Wanted to live and die in the past.

I leave that place, weeping
For my lost love.
The trees weep with me, and animals
Follow, forlorn, seeking comfort
From one who is bereft of it.

The hills call.
Maenads beckon.
I am come to meet
A fate I cannot fathom.
A seek an end to this.
I seek my beloved.
I hear her call, even
As I am torn.
_________________________________________

Exhortation (OR: Who The Hell Knows What This is About?!)

 

Exhortation

(OR Who the Hell Knows What This Is About?!)

©April 7, 2014

By Vijaya Sundaram

 

Force the wo-

rds

Cor-

ral them, he-

rd them

Cro

wd them, ha-

rass them

Cow them into sub-

Put them on the boat

That awaits all words.

 

Yes!

 

(Poetry thrives on this –

The fear of silence.

 

Prose does, too.

Except that it has

So much more space,

So much more leeway.

So much wind blowing

Madly through chapters,

Stirring our consciences,

Making us stammer out

Confessions.)

 

And, like a silken thread

Running palely blue and gold

Between words and worlds,

Silence glows,

A Presence

Waiting to be glimpsed,

An Absence

For whom we yearn.

 

Death can wait.

Death knows how.

Death lies low

Waiting to spring

From the shadowy recesses,

Near where Charon waits.

 

And Life turns

Her head, as she flees

The Silence,

While the words

Become a ghost,

Wailing for her

Orpheus, us.

And all around us,

Roll her echoes,

As we climb, sobbing

Into the light.